NEW YORK – 28 children from PS 191 in Mrs. Orluski’s fouth grade homeroom were detained for questioning this morning on suspicion of holding their Number 2 pencils in “a manner suggestive of smoking cigarettes.” The arrests, which took place immediately after recess, have been upheld as an efficient example of helping prevent confusion among children. The pencils, state the authorities, are visually similar to the visual similarity of e-cigarettes to regular cigarettes. The text of the Amendment to the Smoke-Free Air Act specifically shows concern for this kind of public stupidity –
“The use of electronic cigarette devices may be visually similar to the smoking of cigarettes, and has already been observed in locations where smoking is prohibited, creating concern and confusion that threatens to interfere with enforcement of the Smoke-Free Air Act.”
The children have since been released to the custody of their parents, under the understanding that all pencils, pens, drumsticks, and other potential visually similar objects be removed from their homes.