Just the Trumphacts, Ma’am

Just the trumphacts, Ma’am

Just the trumphacts, Ma’am

Time to get with the program already.

Facts and science have no more place in our lives since “the people” cast their votes and democracy and moral integrity got trumped, and I think it is high time that we embraced the world of ‘trumphacts’ [n. plur.,ˈtrʌmp-fækts’].

© 2017. Me.

There is an enormous upside to this. To all the dieters of the world, we are now allowed to dismiss our doctor’s warnings as “alternative facts” and assert that all those donuts help us lose weight. Moreover, to the smoker who may be trying unsuccessfully to quit, we may also brush off the Surgeon General’s warning because the “science” has not been politically vetted yet and smoking is actually good for us.

And the Surgeon General was probably fired last week anyway.

A trumphact comes into existence by excessive repetition of any random nonsense, which naturally makes it appear true after awhile. And after a little longer, it actually can become true. Everything that we used to take for granted as a “fact” or as “science” or even as “scientific fact” can now, thanks to the emergence of trumphacts, be summarily given the boot as patently false!

As a matter of “fact,” most of what we thought we learned in school was probably Fake News. I am sincerely dismayed that no one ever taught me the REAL trumphacts. I think all the teachers from 1970 until now should be fired or have their retirement funds repurposed to build the Mexican wall. Or at least a few feet of it.

A self-removing alien

A self-removing alien

Another trumphact that we did not know until we elected a madman to be president was the existence of “removable aliens” among us. In his own words, “tens of thousands of removable aliens” roam wild on American streets. And, because no one told us until now, he adds that “many of these aliens are criminals who have served time in our Federal, State, and local jails.”

What would be a “non-removable alien” I wonder… That may be a trumphactual oxymoron.

While many among the intellectual elite (and Democrats) deplore the fast and loose treatment of “facts” and “science” currently in favor in the White House, I believe that we should not overlook the benefits. If what we thought to be “facts” are not true, and if only trumpfacts are true, then trumphacts will become the “facts” – and therefore NOTHING is true. And when nothing is true, everything is true.


So instead of wringing our intellectual elite hands, we should really be rolling up our intellectual elite sleeves and cranking out volumes and volumes of new trumphacts. They may not be accepted immediately by the Administration, but we will repeat ourselves endlessly making them undeniably true.

And by the way, I have used “trumphact” 10 times in this blog. That makes it a real word.






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